January 20th 6th Anniversary of Referral day

As the world was caught up in the hope and promise of President Obama's inauguration day - my heart was filled with joy remembering the frigidly cold January 20th of 6 years ago, when my world changed, hopes were answered and the promise of a family was realized.

January 20th, 2003 was the day I got the call - the referral for baby Xi Chun Ping. 

Now a member of this blogging world, I follow the blogs of many expectant parents who anxiously await news after so many months of waiting. I love looking at those first referral pictures and reading the postings of the proud parents who are so happy to share the referral details.  Up until about 10 months or so ago, I had hoped that I would have that thrill again with a referral for Baby Maeve. As I wrote in our Christmas greeting this year, it was with great sadness that the final difficult decision to end the journey was made, and there is still a part of my heart that aches for the baby in China who may have been part of our family. 

But last Tuesday, my heart was filled with the wonder that is Julia. I watched her bend and twist during her acro class - marvelling at how strong and confident she is. We went to the Mandarin for supper that night to celebrate as my friend Allison and I did 6 years ago when she arrived with Chinese food on referral day. 

At dinner, Julia loved hearing the story of what happened on referral day - where I was when the call came (at school marking end of term projects), what I thought when I first saw her pictures -- she knows my favourite one is the headshot in which she's looking worried and biting her lip. 

Allison came referral night with the tiniest little hair clips I have ever seen - all because there was a promise of some hair on Baby Chun Ping's head. Julia did eventually wear those little clips, and she has a few tucked away in her treasure box. We affectionately call them her baby clips  - I love when she brings them out to show me and tenderly cradles them in her hands.

In the adoption world there are so many dates to commemorate the journey - DTC, LID, Referral Day and Forever Family Day. And in the last 5.75 years since I became Julia's mom, there have been many a date since to commemorate our journey as mother and daughter.  

I still see hints of that baby in the referral pictures when Julia is snuggled in her bed sleeping. I still feel the ghost of that baby who used to snuggle in to me when Julia climbs into my lap and rolls herself and those long legs into a "ball of baby" as we like to say.

This year I think I was wistfully looking back a little to referral day when my life changed as well as looking ahead a little to what is ahead for us, but mostly just enjoying the moment of where Julia and I are now.